I have to admit that I've been feeling God staying very distant from me for a few weeks now and it's been really hard spiritually because if I'm being honest I know it's because I sinned and didn't know how to say the simple "God, I'm sorry." because it just seemed cliche...
I was talking to one of my friends this morning and just wanted to say that God really used her to put my focus straight on some things and when I wasn't sleeping today I was really thinking about it and trying to ignore the nagging feel in me that I needed to take the time to apologize for what I'd done wrong. Well, tonight I've been listening to Amy Grant's album "How Mercy Looks From Here" and Moriah Peter's album "Brave" and just hearing some of the lyrics made me realize that grace is always there for me, even if I don't feel worthy of it. Really, I have to be messed up in the head to ever feel like I deserve it.
Satan does a good job of making me feel like God holds every single sin over my head from all of my past when I fall just one time. I know I'm not the only one to believe that lie and it's crazy to admit I even fall for it every time but Satan is the god of deceit and is very good at mind control.
Here is what God says about my sin -
"I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins." ~ Isaiah 43:25 (KJV)
He does it for His own sake! Not for mine, but for His! Isn't that amazing!!
I was praying and telling God how it hurts when He ignores me and then it all of the sudden hit me and it was like He was saying "Well, that's what I feel like when you ignore me." and that's when I realized that it really does hurt God when I (or any of us) sin.
I know I make mistakes and I'm sure I haven't made my last but it's good to know that I have God's forgiveness and grace for all time and that He's always there for me!
"Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:"
~Philippians 1:6 (KJV)